Questions to Ask a Girl That Lead Somewhere

Questions that get her talking

Easy to answer, and they usually produce a story.

• “What’s the best thing you ate this week?” Everyone has an answer, and food talk leads anywhere.
• “What’s something you’re weirdly good at?” Invites a small brag and a laugh.
• “What was the highlight of your weekend?” Better than “how was your weekend?” because it asks for a moment.
• “What are you obsessed with at the moment?” Shows you what lights her up right now.

Questions that show who she is

• “If you had a free year, what would you do with it?”
• “What’s a story your friends love telling about you?”
• “What’s something you’ve changed your mind about recently?”

More in questions that reveal personality.

Questions that make it fun

• “Is a hot dog a sandwich? Choose carefully.”
• “What’s your most controversial food opinion?”
• “Which fictional villain do you secretly agree with?”

More in playful questions to ask over text.

Questions that add a little tension

Once she’s flirting back.

• “What would your friends say if they read this conversation?”
• “What’s the first thing you notice about someone?”

More in flirty questions.

Questions that lead to a date

• “What’s the best spot in your neighbourhood that nobody knows about?”
• “Is there a place you keep meaning to try?”
• “What’s your ideal low-key Saturday?”

If she lights up, that’s your plan. See how to ask her out over text.

What to do with her answer

Every answer is material.

• React first. An opinion, a laugh, surprise, sympathy.
• Ask for the detail. “Wait, a magic plant? What was it supposed to do?”
• Share your own. Match her story with one of yours.
• Then move on, or not. If the topic is alive, stay. If it’s finished, ask something new.

Questions for each stage

The right question depends on how far into the conversation you are.

• The first message: something from her profile or how you met, not a general question. See how to start a text conversation.
• The first few days: easy, light, fun to answer: either-or choices, playful debates, questions about her profile. See questions for a new match.
• After a week or two: stories, opinions and what she’s looking forward to. See questions for someone you’ve been texting.
• Once there’s trust: reflective, personal questions, eased into. See deep questions to ask a girl.
• After a date: callbacks to the date itself, which beat any new question.

Questions to avoid

• Interview questions in a row: job, hometown, siblings, hobbies.
• Heavy questions too early: exes, biggest regrets, why she’s single.
• Closed questions: anything answerable with yes, no or one word.
• Three questions in one message.
• Questions you don’t care about the answer to.