Interview Detector: Are You Texting Her Like an Interviewer?
If she’s answering every question but asking none, you’re running an interview, not a conversation. Paste the thread to check.
Paste the conversation with each message starting “me:” or “her:”. The detector counts how many of your messages are questions, your longest run of questions in a row, how often she asks anything back, and how much each of you writes. It names the dynamic (interview, one-sided, balanced, or her carrying it) and suggests three moves to replace your next question: a reaction, a playful assumption, and something of your own.
Start each message with me: or her:. Two names work too. Lines without a prefix join the message above.
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Why questions stall a conversation
A question is a small request. Ask enough of them and she’s filling in a form. Each answer closes the loop, so you need another question, and the cycle continues until one of you gets bored. Three questions in a row is the usual tell. The fix isn’t better questions; it’s other moves: react to what she said, guess something about her, or tell her something about you. That is the core of how to stop texting like an interviewer, and of the idea of open loops.
When it’s not you
Sometimes the questions are a symptom. If she answers in a few words and never asks anything back, more questions won’t help, and neither will clever ones. Give her something to react to once or twice. If she still adds nothing, read she replies but never asks questions before you carry it any further.
Questions
How many questions is too many?
As a rough guide, keep questions under half of your messages, and never send three in a row without a reaction, an opinion or a story in between. Two non-questions for every question keeps most conversations feeling like an exchange.
Are the suggested lines meant to be sent as they are?
No. They’re built from a keyword in her last message, so they show the structure of each move. Rewrite them with a detail only the two of you would get. The structure is the lesson.
Does it work for dating app chats?
Yes. Paste the chat the same way. App conversations slip into interview mode faster than most, because both people start with nothing but a profile.
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