The Grooming Checklist Before a Date: The Night Before and the Hour Before, in Clock Order
The night before is where the decisions are made and the hour before is where they are kept. Two checklists in clock order, the items that are read at a table and the ones that are not, and nothing to buy.
The grooming checklist before a date has two halves. The night before: the beard or stubble trimmed and the neckline cleaned, nails cut, eyebrows and nose hair tidied, the shirt chosen, checked in daylight and ironed, the shoes cleaned, and the face washed and moisturised before bed. The hour before: shower, antiperspirant on dry skin, hair washed or at least styled with less product than you think, teeth and floss, moisturiser, two sprays of fragrance on skin, a second brush after anything eaten, mints into a pocket, and the jacket smelled before it goes on. Nothing on either list needs buying, and everything on it is read at a table.
The night before
- Decisions, made in daylight
- Beard or stubble trimmed to the length you decided (the decision page) and the neckline cleaned a finger above the Adam’s apple; if clean-shaven, shave tomorrow, not tonight, so there is no stubble by seven
- Eyebrows tidied between and above, nose and ear hair trimmed; they are part of the face and read as part of it
- Nails cut short and cleaned under; toenails too, in case shoes come off
- Hair: if it needs a cut, it is too late for tonight, and that is the lesson for next time; if it needs a wash, wash it tomorrow so it has its shape
- The outfit chosen and checked in daylight for stains, lint, a ring on the collar and a shine on the trousers; ironed now, hung up (one outfit per venue)
- Shoes cleaned; laces checked; the pair that matches the trousers, not the pair by the door
- Face washed and moisturised before bed, and a spot treatment on anything that has appeared; nothing new on the skin tonight
- Sleep; tired skin and tired eyes are read, and no product fixes either
The hour before
- Kept, in clock order
- Shower, including the places that produce smell; antiperspirant on dry skin straight after (the hygiene checklist has why deodorant alone is not enough)
- Hair washed if it needs it, dried, styled with half the product the tube suggests, worked in with hands
- Shave, if clean-shaven, with the grain, and a balm after; if stubble or beard, nothing, because it was trimmed last night
- Face: wash, moisturise, and a tissue pressed to the forehead and nose if you shine (the three steps)
- Teeth brushed for two minutes and flossed; tongue brushed; this is the step that decides the goodbye
- Fragrance: two sprays on skin at the neck and a wrist, now, so it has an hour to settle (the count by strength)
- Dress in what was laid out; do not reconsider it
- Hands washed again, nails checked, hand cream if dry
- Mints in a pocket; phone charged and on silent; cash and card
- The jacket smelled at the collar and armpit before it goes on; if it fails, a different jacket
- Shoulders of anything dark brushed in a mirror; collar checked
- A second tooth-brush if you ate after the first; then leave with enough time to walk the last ten minutes
What is read at a table, and what is not
The two lists are split by when the work can be done. They are ordered by what is actually read across a table. That is less than most grooming guides suggest, and different from it. Read: the hair and the beard decision in the first second; the hands and the teeth in the first ten minutes; the collar and the shoulders of a dark top under a bar light; the smell of the jacket at the greeting hug; the breath at the first lean-in; the skin, as healthy or tired, over the evening; the fragrance, at the goodbye, if she is close enough to find it.
Not read: the exact product in the hair, the brand of anything, the serum, the third spray, the aftershave, the precise cheek line, the watch unless it is loud. The grooming order is the long version of this list; this page is the two evenings it happens in.
The night before exists because decisions made under time pressure are made badly. The beard trimmed at six forty-five with the taxi booked for seven is the beard with the wandered neckline. The shirt chosen at six forty-five has the collar ring that a bedroom bulb hid. Daylight and an unhurried hour the evening before catch what the hour before cannot. It is the same logic as the first date checklist, which has the plan and the ending decided in advance for the same reason.
The hour before is deliberately a keeping list rather than a deciding list. Everything on it was decided last night. The hour is shower, teeth, fragrance, dress, check, go. That leaves room for the nerves to be handled instead of the clothes. The hour-before routine for nerves runs alongside this one and they share a clock: the walk at the end of both is the same walk.
Nothing on either list needs buying, which is on purpose. Grooming guides are mostly shopping lists. The things read at a table are a recent cut, a decision that was made, hands that were seen to, a shirt that was checked and a jacket that was smelled. A man who does this list and owns nothing new reads better than one who did the shopping and skipped the floss.
Questions
What should I do the night before a date?
Make the decisions that need daylight and time: trim the beard and clean the neckline, cut the nails, tidy the eyebrows and nose hair, choose the outfit and check it for stains and a collar ring, iron it, clean the shoes, wash and moisturise the face, and sleep. The hour before is for keeping those decisions, not making them.
How long before a date should I shower?
Within the hour before you leave, with antiperspirant on dry skin straight after, so that you arrive smelling of nothing and the fragrance has a clean base. Showering in the morning for an evening date does not survive a working day in a warm office.
Should I shave right before a date?
If you are clean-shaven, yes, in the hour before, with the grain and a balm after, so there is no shadow by the second drink. If you keep stubble or a beard, trim it the night before and leave it alone on the day; a trim under time pressure is where necklines go wrong.
What grooming do women actually notice on a date?
Hair and the beard decision first, then hands and teeth, then the collar and shoulders under a bar light, the smell of the jacket at a hug, the breath when you lean in, and the skin over the evening. The fragrance only if she is close enough to find it. Almost nothing else, including the brand of anything.
