What to Wear on a Dinner Date (Men): Decided by the Restaurant and the Season, Not for an Interview
Dinner is the date men most often overdress for and the one where underdressing is noticed. The decision by the room and the season, one outfit for each, and the line between dinner and a job interview.
What to wear on a dinner date is decided by the restaurant. Relaxed (a neighbourhood place, a pizza or pasta room, a gastropub): dark jeans or chinos, a button-up shirt or a fine knit, Chelsea boots or clean leather trainers. Nice (tablecloths, a wine list, booking required): chinos or dark trousers, a shirt, an unstructured blazer or a smart jacket, boots or loafers. Formal (the rare room where other men are in suits): a suit or jacket and trousers, leather shoes, no tie unless the room has them. The line: dinner shows a jacket and good shoes; an interview shows a tie and a suit in a room without them.
On this page
By the restaurant and the season
- A relaxed restaurant, most evenings. Dark jeans or chinos, a button-up shirt (oxford, a plain dark shirt, chambray) with the sleeves rolled once, or a fine-gauge knit; Chelsea boots, desert boots or clean leather trainers if the room is casual. This is the dinner outfit for most dinner dates.
- A relaxed restaurant, in summer. Chinos or light trousers, a short-sleeved shirt or a linen shirt with the sleeves rolled, loafers or leather trainers. Not shorts, whatever the heat.
- A nice restaurant. Chinos or dark trousers, a shirt (white or a rich colour: navy, burgundy, forest), an unstructured blazer or a smart overshirt in winter, Chelsea boots, derbies or loafers. The jacket is what makes it dinner.
- A nice restaurant, in winter. The same with a knit under the blazer or a heavier jacket over the shirt, and boots. A coat that fits over all of it, which most men do not own and should.
- A formal room, where other men are in suits. A suit or a jacket with trousers, a shirt, leather shoes, no tie unless you can see ties on the tables. Rare for a date and worth checking the restaurant’s photos before you assume.
- You do not know the restaurant. Look at its photos online for two minutes; the men in them are the dress code. If you cannot, the nice-restaurant outfit, which goes down a step by removing the jacket.
- She chose the place. Dress for her choice, one step up from its photos. A woman who chose a nice room has told you what to wear.
- You cannot decide. Chinos, a shirt, a blazer you can take off, Chelsea boots. The blazer on the back of the chair is the adjustable element.
The interview line is the one to watch, because dinner is where men overshoot. A jacket and good shoes say dinner. A tie, a stiff white shirt buttoned to the top, a dark suit in a room with no suits, and a briefcase-coloured pair of shoes say interview, and she will say “you look very smart” in the tone that means it. Rich colours rather than white help here; a navy or burgundy shirt reads as evening, and white reads as office. The first-date outfit page covers every venue with the same one-step rule; dinner is the venue where one step is a jacket and two steps is a suit.
Two men at the same table
A nice neighbourhood restaurant. He is in a dark suit, a white shirt buttoned to the collar, a tie, and black oxfords. Nobody else in the room has a tie.
Two steps up, and the explanation made it worse. The tie made the table feel like a meeting, and he will spend the evening slightly uncomfortable in a collar.
The effort read as not knowing what the room was. It is the dinner version of the blazer at the cafe.
Same restaurant. Chinos, a navy shirt with the top button open, an unstructured grey blazer, brown Chelsea boots.
One step up: a jacket in a room where a jacket is the top of the range, a rich colour instead of white, boots instead of oxfords. The outfit is invisible by the first course.
She reads a man who dressed for the evening without making it a ceremony, and then she stops reading the clothes at all.
The dinner date outfit mistakes
- The tie. Unless the room has them, the tie turns dinner into a meeting.
- The suit in a room without suits. Two steps. A blazer with trousers or chinos is the dinner version.
- White shirt buttoned to the top. It reads as office. A rich colour with the top button open reads as evening.
- Trainers in a nice room. The one place trainers fail. Boots or loafers; the shoes page has the pairs by room.
- The jacket that does not fit at the shoulder. The most visible fit failure in menswear, and a dinner date is where the jacket comes out. The fit page has the mirror test.
- Underdressing for her choice. If she picked a nice room and you arrive in a tee, she reads that you did not notice. Her choice is the dress code.
- A coat that does not fit over the jacket. The winter version of the same failure. Own one coat that does.
A jacket says dinner; a tie says interview
Dinner is the one date where a step up is expected, and the step is a jacket and good shoes, not a suit and a tie. Dress for the restaurant’s photos plus one, in rich colours rather than office white, in a jacket that fits at the shoulder and can come off onto the chair. Then the outfit disappears by the first course, which is what it was for. Presence does the rest of the evening, and it is easier to carry without a collar pressing on the neck.
Go deeper: The Attraction Map: The Five Places Attraction Is Won or Lost
After the outfit
- The casual version: what to wear on a coffee date.
- Every venue, one outfit each: the first-date outfit page.
- The shoes by room: the shoes page.
- The jacket at the shoulder: how clothes should fit.
Questions
Should I wear a suit on a dinner date?
Only in a room where the other men are in suits, which is rare for a date; check the restaurant’s photos. Everywhere else, a blazer or smart jacket with chinos or dark trousers is the dinner outfit, and it goes down a step by coming off onto the chair. A suit in a room without suits reads as an interview.
Can I wear jeans to a dinner date?
At a relaxed restaurant, yes: dark, well-fitting jeans with a button-up shirt or a knit and boots. At a nice restaurant, chinos or dark trousers are the better choice, because jeans in a tablecloth room read as a step below. If unsure, chinos go both ways.
What colour shirt for a dinner date?
A rich colour: navy, burgundy, forest green, a deep grey. They read as evening. A white shirt is crisp and reads as office unless the room is formal, and a loud print competes with your face. One colour that suits you, with the top button open.
What if the restaurant is casual but I want to make an effort?
Make it in fit and shoes rather than in formality. A shirt that fits at the shoulder, chinos hemmed to the boot, Chelsea boots cleaned that morning, and an overshirt or knit rather than a blazer. Effort at a casual place shows as care, not as a jacket.
